Gaseous Snake

[corpsefluid]

Gaseous Snake

Word Count: 2504
Fandom: Metal Gear
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Otacon/Solid Snake
Characters: Otacon , Solid Snake
Tags: Masturbation, Farting, Bodily Functions, Vaguely domestic fluff, Bad Jokes, with a chance of puns
Summary: Sometimes close quarters takes all the magic out of the relationship, some people plain don't give a fuck, and some people are apparently into that.

Snake loved to eat.

It didn't matter what so much as that there was lots of it and that it had plenty protein.

Breakfast was the worst meal by far though, Snake would gorge himself first thing in the morning then he would go for a jog, and return to where ever they were staying with his guts churning to finish his exercise. At which point Snake would fart up a storm.

It only lasted an hour or two, but Snake's farts were downright deadly. Snake also didn't do all that much to cover it, letting off loudly mid crunch without a second thought.

Snake's shorts clung far too tightly to his ass normally, but once he started moving the legs would start riding up his thighs until he may as well have been working out in his underwear. Sometimes if he watched too closely, Otacon could swear Snake's ass visibly vibrated from the force of one of his farts.

The odour and complete lack of tact weren't the actual problem for Otacon. No, the real problem was Snake's unreasonably tight workout clothes and the close quarters of their living arrangement.

There was no hope of sneaking off for a surreptitious fap in the apartments. Of course fapping still happened, it was just that everyone knew exactly what you were doing when you were doing it.

After more than a couple of instances of very nearly burning his dick on the battery pack of his laptop, trying to cover an erection it was starting to get more than a little awkward.

In bed was even worse. They hadn't been sharing long, but there'd been some terribly close calls.

One night when Snake had been sleeping with his back against Otacon's chest, Otacon had briefly been half-awake just in time to appreciate the full force of Snake's ass rumbling against his crotch for a full 10 seconds.

Despite the temptation to rub up against him, Otacon had had to bail from the bed to jack off.

It was stupid having something like this affect him like this, it wasn't like Snake was trying to be sexual, he was just being, well, Snake.

After all, Snake wasn't exactly subtle when he was trying to get laid.

Still, stuck in a cabin in the snow with nothing to eat but canned beans, canned sausages and canned combinations of the two it was that much worse. With the dense snow there was nowhere for Snake to go for a run, so he simply made up for it all indoors.

As familiar as Otacon was with Snake's routine, listening to the process was a very different thing.

The first hour or so wasn't so bad, Snake was simply working up a sweat, but then his stomach started making noises. The grumbling of his guts could be heard from across the room, getting progressively louder and more frequent until eventually cumulating into a long squeaking fart.

Once the first was freed they just didn't seem to stop coming. Getting louder and filthier with each thunderous release.

The stench wasn't nearly as foul as some incidents, but Snake's ass was more prolific than ever on the canned diet. Barely going more than a minute without at least one fart.

As soon as he finished his routine, Snake paused, eventually drawing out a long, bubbly finale to the tune of almost thirty seconds, before getting up and wandering off to consider the food supply again.

As hard as Otacon's dick was, there was still the rest of the day to deal with. Usually in the apartments Snake was only truly gassy while he was working off a meal. In the cabin though...

Snake was letting off nearly all day every day. Even though by far he farted most when he was moving, there was a certain perpetually lingering aroma other than Snake's cigarettes.

Honestly the diet was getting to Otacon himself, he didn't move nearly as much as Snake did but that much beans three meals a day had a certain effect. Otacon wasn't exactly as 'loud and proud' about it as Snake seemed to be, but his own ass was cooking up plenty burning hot gas of its own.

It was surprisingly painful.

Otacon wasn't terribly experienced in the department, but he'd certainly describe the sensation as being a whole lot like how he imagined getting stabbed might feel like.

No matter how much fun he had watching Snake, on his own part he couldn't say he enjoyed it. The second they got out of the cabin he was going to eat instant noodles for a week...

 

---

 

Then things got worse.

Snake wasn't exactly the best person in the world to share a bed with. Most nights there were no problems but when nightmares came: Snake got loud, loud and thrashy. It wasn't the first time Otacon had been woken in the middle of the night and it probably wouldn't be the last, so it was hard to be terribly annoyed when Snake started grumbling and squirming.

“Otacon...”

That was new.

“Otacon, give me a hand here.”

Okay then apparently it wasn't a nightmare.

“What is it Snake?”

“Put your arms around me...” Snake reached back to grab Otacon's hand blindly.

Strange, but Otacon went with it, letting Snake position his arms around his stomach.

“Now squeeze, tight as you can,” Snake instructed pressing his own hands down against his stomach.

Otacon did what he could but honestly he couldn't imagine he was adding any more pressure than Snake was doing himself, no matter how hard he squeezed.

Snake grunted, but for a few moments everything was silent. Then there was a noise like a squeaking balloon, Snake groaned then pressed down harder, finally there was a loud blustery fart.

Snake let go of Otacon's hands with a sigh of relief.

Apparently he did suffer occasionally from the cabin meals.

“You can let go now,” Snake reminded Otacon. “Thanks.”

Snake seemed to settle for a bit, but then he broke the silence again.

“Want me to help with that?”

Oh.

Otacon was pretty sure he'd never bailed from the bed quite so fast.

He was also pretty sure he'd never face planted quite so spectacularly because his feet had been tangled in the bed covers before either.

So much for that.

Snake thought it was pretty fucking funny though.

“That bad huh?” Snake was however gracious enough to help Otacon out on getting up and out of the tangle. “You know, you could just say 'no, I don't want a blow job.'”

“No, it's... fine, I'll take the blow job,” it was easier just to take the out that was offered than dig the hole, besides Snake was good with his mouth. “Just give me some warning next time. I thought you were having a nightmare.”

That was a terrible excuse, Snake looked at him as if to say 'really?' but once Otacon settled himself back in the bed, Snake didn't really bother asking further questions and simply got down to business, much to Otacon's relief.

 

---

 

Things really couldn't continue like this, Snake was plenty oblivious about certain things and could be gullible, but there were limits to that and apparently, Otacon's own sexual frustration.

Which boiled over sometime in the middle of Snake's morning routine, somewhere between when his shorts started riding up his arse and when his stomach was starting to grumble loud enough that Otacon could hear it.

“Hey Snake, wanna fuck?”

Maybe not a smooth proposition, but neither of them had ever been the smoothest with this sort of thing. Though it had gotten a whole lot easier once Snake had set the bar at simply putting his dick on Otacon's shoulder while Otacon was working until Otacon finally paid attention to him. Since they did actually fuck, it couldn't really be called a failed seduction attempt, but Otacon also laughed himself sick.

Snake considered for a moment, Otacon knew he preferred to finish his workouts before doing anything else if he could help it, but Otacon also knew he'd be tempted by Otacon doing the initiating since that didn't happen all that often. (Admittedly that was mostly because Snake usually thought to ask first.) Some of the hesitation might have been simply because he knew he was extremely gassy at that moment, while he certainly didn't have much of a problem letting off in Otacon's presence, sex could easily have been a different story.

Still.

“Yeah, sure. Here or in the bed?”

“Here's good. Just stay right there.”

Snake was generally pretty accepting of direction, so it only took a little nudging for Otacon to get Snake on all fours for him.

Otacon could smell the fresh sweat on him as he extracted Snake from those ridiculous tight little shorts. God, Otacon loved it when Snake let his body hair grow back. Otacon never would have thought he'd ever look forward to a hairy man's arse, but here he was.

Snake would shave it all off when he had to use the sneaking suit because the material loved to catch on every little hair. Which was sexy in it's own way, but that was before he'd seen Snake at full fuzz.

Grinding his hips against Snake's, Otacon was more than happy to simply slide his dick between Snake's cheeks all day, but that wasn't what he was here for right now.

Snake's stomach was grumbling in just the way it usually did around this point of the morning, sorely tempting Otacon to just start at Snake's belly... First Otacon needed Snake to relax a bit though. So he started far lower, groping the insides of his thighs, massaging the slick muscle all the way up to his dick. Squeezing Snake's cock softly before starting to rub.

It didn't really take all that much to get Snake going, with his libido so much stronger than Otacon's, usually things ended up the other way around with Snake teasing his body to proper arousal while Snake himself was already raring to go.

With Otacon already rubbing up against him, it was just a matter of Snake's body catching up with his head for Snake to get hard. Especially when Otacon skipped over his main goal again, sliding his hands up Snake's torso, under his damp tank top, to grope his chest. Palm his nipples, squeeze his hips, kiss his neck and shoulders... Snake honestly just liked to be touched in general.

Resting most of his weight on Snake's back, Otacon finally struck out, hoping just maybe he'd manage to catch Snake off guard.

Wrapping his arms around Snake's middle, Otacon squeezed tight, hoping the sudden additional pressure would be enough for the result he was looking for.

It was soft at first, like a buzzing fly or a cheap vibe, growing stronger for just a second before it tapered off far too soon.

Otacon tried squeezing again, but this time Snake had braced his stomach muscles for it and just grunted, prevent Otacon from exerting nearly enough pressure to force the issue. Maybe it was for the best, he had pushed his luck a fair bit attempting this in the first place.

Or just maybe he simply needed Snake to let his guard down again.

Snake certainly wasn't about to argue with getting a hand job, especially with Otacon rubbing all over him so bodily. Snake's quiet little groans and sighs were always good to hear, even when it wasn't specifically what he was looking to hear from Snake right now. Between nibbling on his ear, feeling up his chest and stroking his dick it was easy to feel Snake quite bodily relax under Otacon.

Still Otacon let it go on for a good few minutes before he tried again, if Snake was a little more absorbed in the action he could be more easily persuaded to let it slide. Or slip in this particular case as Otacoin switched his focus abruptly to Snake's belly again.

Snake tensed his stomach against Otacon's squeezing almost immediately, but he did let out another fart, sounding just a little damp from the sweat between their bodies.

Snake grunted and let out a small belch, “stop it,” he growled.

“Don't squeeze me,” Snake warned, his tone absolutely telling Otacon to back the fuck off.

Well fuck, yeah, Otacon would admit he was being a bit of a selfish dick right now.

“S-sorry Snake,” even though Otacon tried to sound apologetic, he couldn't exactly say he was one-hundred percent truly sorry. He did enjoy it while it lasted, and even now hearing Snake's stomach grumble and gurgle was making him shiver with anticipation.

Especially since Snake seemed to have caught on to just what Otacon wanted from him, and properly started to let loose with the long, bellowing bouts of gas he usually dropped while he was working out.

The eggy stench quickly overpowered Snake's smell in just a way Otacon started to wonder what it might be like to have his face between Snake's thighs right now. Between that and the way each hot burble of gas from Snake's stomach rumbled pleasantly against Otacon's cock, Otacon could just about come there and then. But that would be rude, just sitting back and having a good time without even trying to give Snake a hand.

Otacon nuzzled up against Snake's neck, unsubtly reaching under him to jerk him off while he continued rubbing himself between Snake's arse cheeks. Rolling the motion of his hips with Snake as Snake really started to hump his hand.

Still, doing his best to hold back, Otacon ended up coming way before Snake did. He made up for it with a slightly breathless blow job.

Snake's arse didn't quit in more ways than one.

Otacon certainly wasn't complaining.

And Snake, well, Snake was pretty damn agreeable after getting his dick wet.

Naturally that's when the post orgasm guilt started to kick in. Usually it was just Otacon's brain being obnoxious, right now though, yeah, Otacon could admit he'd actually done something this time he should feel guilty about.

“Sorry Snake, I was being weird.”

“Huh?” Snake sounded drowsy and it took a little while to process the words. “Otacon I'll tell you if I've got a problem with something you're doing, I asked you to stop something and you stopped.”

Otacon cringed internally, he was doing that thing again. Snake wasn't a fan but he did make an effort to be patient with it, though it inevitably just made Otacon feel guilty for feeling guilty. “Yeah but-”

“Sure it's weird, but it's not like I'm going to stop farting for two weeks when we're both eating nothing but beans. Someone may as well enjoy it.”

“So you don't mind?” Otacon would be lying if he said he wasn't a tiny bit hopeful to maybe do it again.

“I saw weirder shit in that cartoon porn.”

“Hentai, Snake.”

Snake definitely did that on purpose, but fuck if it wasn't funny.